Tourists splash in the poop-filled waters of Santa Monica Pier, despite germs and chemicals at one of Cali’s grossest beaches

They’re Surfin’ Y.U.C.K.

Bird poop, noxious algae and toxic chemicals have made the iconic Santa Monica Pier area one of California’s nastiest beach getaways — yet unaware or unconcerned tourists still swim in the germ-infested waters.

The sea around the famous amusement spot currently holds an “F” grade from the Heal the Bay monitoring organization due to high amounts of total coliform, fecal coliform (E. coli), and Enterococcus species that authorities recently found in the water.

Even fishing there isn’t safe, as authorities are warning anglers not to eat their catch due to toxic chemicals in the fish.

Yet beachgoers soaking up the sun on Friday either didn’t know about the risk or just didn’t care.

“For us, it’s all the same as long as the water isn’t too cold,” said Aldo Frias, 49, who dropped in from Mexico City with his wife and son to enjoy an unseasonably warm weekend.

“Maybe we’ll try to swim,” Frias added with a shrug.

The Santa Monica Pier ranked number 2 on Heal the Bay’s “Beach Bummers” of 2025.

Nearby storm drains wash the Los Angeles filth into the ocean, but the true culprits are sea birds, which leave a storm of foul droppings in the seat as they flock to the tourist hotspot in search of nesting spots.

Authorities have installed caging under the pier and anti-perch wires on the pillars to deter the pigeons and seagulls, but they do little.

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As for the fish, the California Office of Environmental Health urges anglers to avoid eating certain species due to high amounts of mercury and PCBs — industrial chemicals linked to developmental problems, cancers, and lots of other illnesses.

“I don’t eat much around here because it’s pretty gross. A lot of times you’ll cut the fish open and the meat inside is black,” said Neil Johnson, 19, who likes to travel from Arizona to fish off the Pier, but strictly for catch-and-release.

Johnson said things have gotten worse over the five years he has been bringing his bait and tackle to Santa Monica.

Johnson catches fish teeming with parasites, and he encounters “red tides” that fill the water with crimson algae blooms that wreck the ecosystem and can cause rare but potentially fatal illnesses in humans, according to the NOAA’s National Ocean Service.

Meanwhile, the fish are getting smaller and scarcer.

“It hasn’t been as good as it was. I’m not sure what’s going on,” Johnson said.

Both the Pier and beach to the south, near Pico Boulevard, have “F” grades from Heal the Bay, based on the latest testing from the city of Los Angeles, which was conducted on January 23.

The Pier is historically gross, but the southern beach had consistent “A” grades until last November, when its water suddenly became swamped with bacteria.

Myriad human and environmental factors can pump filth into a beach’s water. Storm drains and foul weather are frequent culprits; a few stormy days can turn an otherwise pristine beach into a toxic stew, according to Dr. Amalia Almada of the University of Southern California’s Sea Grant Program.

The bacteria and chemicals also wash to shore and contaminate the sand, Almada warned.

Yet on Friday, one metal-detector-toting beachcomber, who goes by John, said he didn’t mind wading in the surf and digging around in the sand for treasure.

“It’s gonna be fine. Everybody will be ok,” he said.

The Post found Jesus Gonzalez, 35, splashing around in the water with his wife and son during a visit from Arizona.

“It’s our first time here. We didn’t know the water was contaminated,” Gonzalez said.

“It probably is contaminated, though, because we see a lot of garbage in the streets. We don’t see that much garbage where we live in Phoenix.”

One on-duty lifeguard, who identified himself as Chaz, said he and his colleagues are well-aware of the germs and chemicals in the water, and “no swimming” signs are a near-permanent fixture.

Chaz still swims for fun, bacteria and all.

“I’m used to it by now,” he said.

As for the oblivious tourists and fishermen, nothing is stopping beachgoers from ignoring the warning signs and taking a dip in the septic surf.

“We just tell you to swim at your own risk,” Chaz said.