YES, I AM STILL HERE peeking out my window on Main Street, and I unable stop myself from commenting on some news items seen in other publications.
ITEM #1
Like the ‘Clover Crews News’ publication for Howard County 4-H’ers.
An item there alerts the kids that there will be a mandatory ‘Chicken Bleeding’ before the judging of all poultry which has been brought to the County Fair by local kids.
The bleeding is NOT a competition, I have been assured by a local 4-H adult.
No chicken will get a red, white or blue ribbon for how well it does in a bleeding contest.
Truth is — an adult associated with 4-H or the county fair board will ‘draw’ the blood to check for any chicken-born disease.
The kid must firmly hold the unhappy bird during this event.
The kid is not penalized for crying when the chicken is bled.
‘Chicken Bleeding’ just sounds like a competition some really sicko adult would have thought up.
ITEM #2
A couple of years ago one of our local food experts who was speaking at a public event made an astounding claim: “You’d be surprised,” she said, “at the number of persons who have never eaten asparagus.”
Fine. That just leaves more for me.
Being unwilling to try certain things is not a fatal flaw. Even Plump Louie discriminates. Sometimes.
There are certain things which I am not man enough to put into my mouth. Like Beets, English Peas or Calf Fries.
I went to a Cajun festival once with one of my Looooisiana relations. He bought some stuff at the food stand sponsored by the FFA Dads. “Here, try this and then I’ll tell you what’s in it.” (The FFA Dads also sold cold beer which we had already sampled.)
Lucky for me it was ‘boudin,’ a sausage casing which includes every thing from rice to chicken lips. You know, the Cajuns just don’t waste anything.
It was my first taste of boudin, and boy am I glad that he tricked me into trying it!
So I am now sometimes adventurous about food. I’ve eaten sushi, snails, prickly pear cactus petals, and rooster fries.
I actually liked three of the four. Guess which.
All of this talk reminds me that, while a lot of you haven’t eaten asparagus, there’s also a few of you who haven’t been to the Farmers’ Market.
You’ve got to go early before your smart neighbors buy up all of the garden-fresh produce.
I go every Friday morning, and I feel guilty when I walk past a booth without buying something. I wish the vendors wouldn’t give me ‘that’ look.
ITEM #3
Assault with a deadly chopped pork sandwich?
Proof that the Kingdom of Pulaski is the world’s nuttiest place — the daily paper a couple of years ago carried a story about a North Little Rock man who was thrown in the hoosegow after hitting his wife in the face with a sandwich.
Let that sink in.
The police report didn’t include details, such as: “What kind of sandwich was it?”
I’m guessing it could have been a Club Sandwich.
But if either the ‘striker’ or the ‘strikee’ was a Latino, the sandwich could have been a Torta.
Or, if either person was Greek, the sandwich could have been a Gyro.
Or, if they were Japanese it could have been a Sushi Roll.
Or, if either was from The Continent it could have been a French Dip.
Or if either was Chinese it could have been a Cabbage Roll.
I could go on and on. But I’ll spare you.
The hubby is probably facing a misdemeanor charge of second or third degree battery — depending upon details like whether the lettuce was wilted or if the toasted bun was multi-grain or gluten-free.
The article also did not mention if fries, chips or pickle came with that assault.
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ANIMAL CRACKERS. I’m bragging. Early signs are that Mom and Pop Bluebird are back for a third round of patio nesting.
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MORE THINGS I LEARNED from opening email: A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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WORD GAMES. I love oxymorons: Open Secret. For example, it’s an Open Secret about the name we all quietly think is on the Epstein List in a bad way.
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HE SAID: “We can no longer take our own way of life for granted — we know that it may be challenged. And we know this, too — and know it ever more deeply — we know that freedom and democracy are not just big words mouthed by orators but the rain and the wind and the sun, the air and the light by which we breathe and live.” Stephen Vincent Benet, American poet
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SHE SAID: “People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” Joan Rivers, comic
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SWEET DREAMS, Baby
(Except for the headline, this story has not been edited by PostX News and is published from a syndicated feed.)
