A member of a neighborhood Facebook group shared how a moment of generosity was derailed before it even began, after an unexpected response left her feeling uneasy and conflicted.
Posting as MsMaggieMcGill on Reddit this week, the user said she was familiar with a woman in the group who regularly posted requests for help, often citing hospital stays and a lack of local support.
Stepping In
After weeks of seeing the same request for a large household item, the original poster (OP) finally decided to step in. She intended to buy the item new and have it delivered directly to the woman’s home.
But before she could make the offer, the woman responded to her message with something else: a request for cab fare and instructions on how to send her money.
fizkes/iStock/Getty Images Plus
“I felt so dirty all of a sudden,” the OP wrote, “My intention to help was gone in a split second.”
She exited the conversation and never offered the item.
Days later, she gave a large tip to a local waitress—three times the value of her bill—and said that small gesture did more to restore her sense of goodwill.
“It was sweet and genuine and simple,” she wrote.
Meta Responds
In reply to an invitation to comment, a spokesperson for Meta told Newsweek that keeping Groups safe is “a priority” and something the company continues to invest in.
“We have a number of tools and resources to help admins keep their Groups safe,” the spokesperson continued.
“If you’re a group member, you also have the ability to report Groups, posts or comments that do not follow our community standards. If you come across inauthentic behavior on Facebook, we encourage you to report it to us.”
Meanwhile, the thread drew support from folks online. One Reddit user quoted the familiar saying: “Give a mouse a cookie.”
Another person offered simple advice: “Time to block that person. Give yourself some peace.”
A fellow Redditor chipped in: “Anyone who’s ever waited tables thanks you!”
Situations like these do crop up online community groups, where the line between need and exploitation can blur.
Accused of Scamming
A Newsweek article earlier this year detailed the experience of a man selling a television on Facebook Marketplace who was later accused of scamming after the buyer broke the screen herself.
“They called me a scammer, hurting for money, dishonest [and] said they were going to call the police on me if I didn’t give them their money back,” he told Newsweek.
Despite offering help multiple times, he said the buyer refused and then blamed him when the TV was damaged.
Online etiquette matters in these interactions, especially in Facebook buy/sell communities, which operate under informal, but rigid norms.
As explained in Fashion Journal, these groups function like micro-societies, complete with lingo and unwritten codes. Breaking those norms—like appearing entitled or skipping the line of interested buyers—can damage trust and quickly get users removed.
In this case, MsMaggieMcGill said she felt better directing her energy toward someone who didn’t ask for anything. Her closing thought: “Helping someone is as valuable to those on the giving end as to those on the receiving end.”
Newsweek has contacted MsMaggieMcGill for comment via Reddit.
Newsweek‘s “What Should I Do?” offers expert advice to readers. If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work, and your story could be featured on WSID at Newsweek.
To read how Newsweek uses AI as a newsroom tool, click here.
(Except for the headline, this story has not been edited by PostX News and is published from a syndicated feed.)
