by Jenifer Vaughan
A Memoir of Awakening, Rebellion, and Survival in Syria by Loubna Mrie is a fierce account of moral courage in the face of authoritarian Assad-family rule and rigid societal expectations. Tracing the 2011 Syrian uprising through the lens of personal experience, Mrie illuminates how conflict transforms conscience, identity, and one’s understanding of justice.
Mrie’s story begins in a life of privilege, overshadowed by an unbearably abusive father, but with a mother whose fortitude anchors her and her sister. Raised in an Alawite household closely tied to the Assad regime, she recounts a childhood shaped by obedience, noting the community’s existential loyalty to the regime.
She reflects on experiences that reveal the limits of personal agency within oppressive social structures. At times, Mrie, whom the writer of this review knows, confronts her own complicity, acknowledging, for example, her silent acquiescence upon realising that her father is raping a 12-year-old already subjected to other forms of exploitation – unable to express her disgust without jeopardising her own future.
The outbreak of unrest in 2011 accelerates her awakening. Initially, she joins protests not for political reasons but to challenge ‘ingrained obedience and gain a better understanding’ of herself. Her engagement quickly deepens into active participation, ultimately leading to a career in photojournalism, where she documents the brutal realities of conflict. Moving across checkpoints largely manned by Alawite soldiers, she navigates both the practical and moral landscapes of a divided country.
Mrie’s memoir also captures loss with raw candour. A striking moment occurs when she leaves home, ignoring her mother’s plea for a final embrace: ‘I had no way of knowing that this would be the last time I would ever see her.’ Just before fleeing to Turkey, she posts a video proclaiming that the revolution belongs to all Syrians – including Alawites – her face partly hidden behind a revolutionary flag. Filmed amid the stress of her mother’s vulnerability, surrounded by her father’s side of the family, the clip precedes her mother’s murder at his hands. (Her father reappears in the Epilogue after the Assad regime falls in December 2024.)
Mrie’s prose is both immediate and lyrical, bringing to life street protests, brutal crackdowns and the hardships of life in exile. Some of the most powerful passages emerge in moments of self-reflection, where she grapples with guilt, fear and the cost of sacrifice – grounding the narrative in the timeless tension between conformity and conscience.
In Turkey, she meets and begins dating Peter Kassig, an American aid worker. Like her, he later travels to Syria. Reflecting on her time in Aleppo, she writes, ‘In Turkey, surrounded by normalcy and stability, my inner turmoil felt out of place. Here, my inner and outer lives are in alignment.’ Prolonged exposure to violence reshapes her moral and emotional compass, making ordinary stability feel alien while rendering the logic of war tragically coherent.
Her gradual withdrawal from Kassig reflects this tension. He represents a real, normal life, yet she worries he is conflating his desire to help with real love for her. Their final encounter is strained, and his subsequent kidnapping and execution by ISIS transforms personal grief into political disillusionment. For Mrie, it signals not only the loss of a partner, but the perceived ideological collapse of the revolution itself – a moment when the promise that drew her into uprising gives way to disillusionment.
The strength of Mrie’s memoir lies in its unflinching honesty. The narrative explores her internal conflict as much as external violence. The tension between her upbringing and her chosen path lends the book compelling psychological depth. Publicly challenging the regime marks her as a traitor in her community, isolating her from family and homeland and forcing her into exile.
What distinguishes Defiance among books on Syria is its interrogation of privilege, complicity, and moral responsibility. Mrie examines her role within social structures that sustain authoritarianism, acknowledging the tension between inherited loyalty and conscious dissent. The memoir situates personal experience within broader political and ethical frameworks.
Defiance also underscores how war is not merely an external rupture, but a condition embedded in society itself. In line with Margaret MacMillan’s argument in War: How Conflict Shaped Us that conflict emerges alongside organised society and governance, Mrie demonstrates how authoritarianism and war are interwoven: violence, repression and concessions of conscience permeate everyday routines, shaping both identity and ethical decision-making.
Ultimately, Defiance is a compelling political memoir, essential not only for readers interested in the Middle East or contemporary conflict but also for those seeking to understand how dissent arises under authoritarianism and the personal costs of rejecting inherited loyalties.
In the context of post-Assad Syria, the memoir is particularly vital, providing firsthand insight into the ethical challenges, complicity and courage of individuals under authoritarian rule and illuminating the personal and collective choices that will shape the country’s future.
As Mrie notes, ‘Words can’t convey how a revolution transforms you; you have to live it…nothing compares to the first chant you hear emanating from the depths of your heart.’
[To read more on this and everything Middle East, the LSE Middle East Centre Library is now open for browsing and borrowing for LSE students and staff. For more information, please visit the MEC Library page.]
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