YES, I AM STILL HERE peeking out my window on Main Street, and a Nashville momma promised me that this is a true story that needed to be retold.
She has a relative who recently made a medical mission trip to a South American country.
While there he foolishly got into a soccer match in order to try to impress some of the folks he was hoping to bring to Jesus.
No good deed goes unpunished, I’ve heard, so naturally he got hurt.
My informant told me that he broke his wrist. My informant also told me she thought he fell, but I think he was probably tripped on purpose and kicked by those ungrateful, unchurched soccer heathens.
But that’s another story and I’m sure you wouldn’t be interested.
THIS story is about the medical attention he received.
Help cometh!
He was still conscious when los personales medicos wheeled him into the local operating room. His wrist was throbbing from the break and his head was swimming due to the painkillers which came from a bottle with a worm at the bottom.
His head might have been swimming, but he STILL managed to notice that the operating room doctors and nurses were wearing colorful and color-coordinated ‘scrubbs’ just like the operating room doctors and nurses do on the American TV soap opera ‘General Hospital.’
But over their shoes, instead of matching blue or green ‘booties.’ they were wearing Walmart sacks secured with duct tape. Necessity really is the Mother of Invention.
Speaking of booties ….. After my informant finished telling her story I remembered an old song, “The Hokey Pokey.”
Put your right foot in
You remember the song, don’t you? “You put your right foot in; you put your right out; you put your right foot in and you shake it all about; you do the Hokey Pokey and you Something-Something, and that’s what it’s all about.”
You know that song, right”
Isn’t this just another way to get los personales medicos to shake their booties?
How do you say Hokey Pokey in Español, anyway?
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ANIMAL CRACKERS. The only good spider is a dead spider, I always say.
Matter of fact I’ve said that for more than half of a century.
A perfesser at the American Museum of Natural History recently had some really really REALLY good news. I can hardly wait to tell you.
Entomologists now know of 43,000 species of spiders but there are at least an equal number of undiscovered species.
Thanks, perfesser. You’ve made my day.
He sez that the known species range in size from some so tiny that you need a microscope just to see their eight itsy-bitsy wittle legs, up to some so large that they can catch and carry away birds, snakes, scorpions, mice, frogs and Igloo Coolers (just joking about the last example).
I am not a bug perfesser, but I can tell you which kind of spider is the most dangerous.
It’s the kind that chased me around my shower stall earlier today.
I’ve recovered, thank goodness, but in protecting myself I may have damaged the shower stall.
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MORE ANIMAL CRACKERS. I swear every afternoon I hear cicadas crank up. I thought they were supposed to be happening earlier in the summer. Maybe the summer heat has driven them out of their 17-year nap.
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SURELY SOMEONE IS hooked bad on dope in order to even THINK of DJ Trump nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize. Surely there are more deserving citizens on Epstein’s List.
Pardoning the Jan. 6, 2021, insurrectionists does not qualify someone for the Nobel Peace Prize.
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TEXAS FLOODING. Remember you might get what you ask for. But, it really is sooooo dry. In August we’ve had a grand total of 0.17-in. of rain. Normal for the period is 1.67-in.
July was better, but all of the rain was near the first of the month. In fact, the last sizeable rain measured on the lawn at the radio station was 2.13 inches on July 13-14.
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MORE THINGS I LEARNED from opening email: I woke up this morning determined to drink less, eat right, and exercise daily. But that was five hours ago when I was younger and full of hope.
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WORD GAMES. I love oxymorons. Sometimes my column goes over like a Lead Balloon.
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HE SAID: “By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and Third by experience, which is the bitterest.” Confucius, Chinese philosopher
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SHE SAID: “Right now I think censorship is necessary; the things they’re doing and saying in films right now just shouldn’t be allowed. There’s no dignity anymore and I think that’s very important.” Mae West, American actress
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SWEET DREAMS, Baby
(Except for the headline, this story has not been edited by PostX News and is published from a syndicated feed.)
